I then decided to give it a while, my lovely Husband went back to Turkey 25/03/96 & wasn't going to go that summer but to try and earn some money here in England but on 29th April I was on the flight.
I met my Husband May 1992 on Holiday in Turkey, he worked in a leather jacket shop he calls himself Gino but really his name is Hayrettin. I went back on holiday in Aug for 2 weeks to see him and he took me to Eastern Turkey and I met his family. Life is so different there. In Oct I went again to Turkey to see my then fiance as in Aug we got engaged. The place was Kusadasi a quite popular holiday resort. In 1993 I was there for months and later is the season for a holiday but in 1994 I stayed for the summer and in October was married. Unfortunately Gino did not get a visa that winter and so I returned to England alone, but was back in Kusadasi for the next summer season when was the time we started to try for a baby.
That year I worked as a transfer rep for Suntours and was also a air guide, maybe it was all the flying that prevented the baby.
The end of 1995 we managed to get a visa and came to England together, that was when I was pregnant and lost the embryo.
So I was working as a Hotel rep in 1996 for Suntours in Kusadasi Turkey, I was so pleased to get the job and did really well but then recognised the signs of pregnancy, I never have been so tired, at first I thought it was the Job as the hours can be unsociable and I spent my day off on the tours so I could sell the trips better. I still had food to cook and house work. Then I knew for sure by the signs of my body so I went to the Suntours Doctor and it was confirmed. I and my husband were thrilled.
I came back to England for a wedding and at the same time saw my doctor and told her I was expecting and signed a mother to be paper, she felt my stomach to guess the age but when I returned to Turkey I went to Soke and paid two million lira to see a antenatal doctor and had a can to find I was only 8 weeks pregnant.
The summer was a hot one, I didn't have morning sickness but felt nauseated in the early afternoons so I tried to rest in between hotel visits etc. But I still had my airport duty but no flying any more, then there were the Turkish nights I had to help with.
One weekend I was washing clothes on my day off and I was extra tired, I still hadn't felt any movements, I was concerned, I was only 16 weeks and with first babies it may take longer to feel your baby. Anyway i walked to Gino's shop and Mehmet's little daughter was there and water came to my eyes. Come Monday 7th Oct we went to soke, I was told all is well, saw my baby move it was such a lovely experience to see for the first time properly as the last scan I couldn't make out a thing but this time I saw my baby. The heart was beating away, the doctor said I was 16/17 weeks pregnant and gave a date 18th march, was told all is well we were very happy.
The season finally ended and we went to eastern Turkey to be with my husbands family for 2 weeks, I love the people and was made so welcome, I hadn't seen them for 4 years, they looked after me and it was while in Urfa that I first felt my baby.
Urfa is a holy place, I saw the fish pool of Ibrahim (Abraham) which are holy fish. I also saw a women I saw 4 years before and is a very holy women, quite strict and we went to see her as she guards a sacred place, this time she liked me as last time I had short sleeves on and did not speak Turkish. She remembered us amazing and she was lovely to me gave me a peace of cloth supposed to belong to a Profit to always wear so the baby would not drop. She also gave me some soil holy soil to drink in water. I didn't wear the cloth all the time as you have to be very clean but I looked after it. (though now as I am copying this word for word I wonder where it is I wander if I had of worn it if Gino never took the soil from my bag and mislaid it. but we can not live on if this or if that, back to the Diary as I wrote it in 1997) I left the Soil bu mistake in Urfa as it was taken from my bag by my husband so his mum could loo after. I hope they will use it.
After Urfa we went back to Kusadasi for one last week, all sorts happened, house owners came back thinking we had done a runner and women were on holiday visiting boyfriends, we stayed in a hotel.
We decided not to go Soke to see the doctor again I was still OK to fly and had a appointment ready in England to see the midwife. 18th Nov 1997 flew back to England, 19th Nov woke to sleety snow, went to see midwife with Gino all seemed well got told to see my doctor in 6 weeks time and that a scan appointment will come through at Leicester General Hospital. Got a new pregnancy pack left happy but cold.
29/11/96 went to General Hospital for scan, first told that because I had been out of the country for 8 months I should pay eve though we are settling now, got given benefit of the dought and told if I leave for long periods again and come back to have a baby I might have to pay for care.
Had a scan and the baby was a lot bigger, nice to see, the scanner was checking over everything and took a long time looking at the baby's heart, I was told to have a walk then come back so the baby could change position, my husband got worried I told him it was just routine, so we both went back to the scanning room and the scanner proceeded and told us that she was not happy with the baby's heart. Me being me thought well that's all right with all the medical things there are today and also knowing of successful children having heart surgery leading normal lives and also it could only be a little problem and holes often close on their own, I was thinking all positive maybe my way to cope. My husband was quite taken back by it his sister's son was born with a heart problem I don't know exactly what but they have to be careful with him and not make him over excited.
So we waited to see my consultant and midwife what came was a SHOCK.
The consultant explained as much as he could by the scan about the heart, that blood was crossing over from the left due to a hole in the Atrium wall & so the right ventricle is stressed. We were also told that heart problems are often connected to Down syndrome and our baby had a good possibility of his, he was telling us different information I tried to remain calm but the tears filled my eyes and I had to control my breathing. Gino seeing me cry realised it must be bad as he didn't understand
The consultant explained as much as he could by the scan about the heart, that blood was crossing to the right side from the left due to a hole in the Atrium wall and so the right ventricle is stressed. We were also told that heart problems are often connected to Down syndrome and our baby had a good possibility of this, he was telling us different information, I tried to remain calm but tears filled my eyes and I had to control my breathing. Gino seeing me cry realised it must be bad as he didn't understand the term Down syndrome at the time and he went out of the room.
We had an appointment booked to have a special heart scan with a specialist for the Monday. We walked back to my mum's house that day and talked over things not sure what we would do if our baby had Down syndrome.
I had a book to read on termination, I couldn't read it, Gino and I carried on with our plans for the weekend and went to Rugby to see our friends.
Monday 2nd December went to Glenfield Hospital to have a foetal scan, this hospital is special for hearts. A lady did the scanning for Dr C to see. Dr C explained to us more about the problem of the heart what he has found being a hole in the atrium walls and possibly the ventricle walls as well and this could be operated on successfully, hopefully when the baby is 4-6 months old. He talked about having another scan around 6 weeks later so he could measure how well the pulmonary valve and aorta were growing and he put our minds at rest for the heart. Of coarse being a heart specialist he couldn't say anything for the Down syndrome but thought this sort of heart problem isn't associated but couldn't be sure. We left there a littler happier. My mum was with us and she soaked in the information better as she was a nursing sister.
6th December we went back to the General, the consultant wasn't there, a different doctor saw us and the same midwife who had always been kind and friendly. The Dr talked about tests for Down syndrome and risk factors, but also stating that this heart problem may or may not be associated to Down syndrome, saying that the padding fat tissue on the baby's neck made them think more about it last week but it was still a possibility. This padding tissue worried me and we got another week to think about things.
13th December 1996 Went to the General again and saw the consultant, I told him I wanted the test (to have the test I stated I would have a termination and typing that now makes my blood boil, but let me say I wanted to know if my baby had the Down syndrome, I just needed to know although in my other pregnancies I refused to even have the blood tests for it as this scare ruined what should have been an exciting pregnancy) The Dr explained different tests one could let me know in 5 days but was the umbilical cord test and is more dangerous more risk of miscarry plus they said if the test was true i would have to terminate between Xmas and new year ( I would never have done that I know that ) I decide to have the amniocenteses and so had fluid taken from around the baby, they would test for chromosomes and by this if there is an extra chromosomes and by this if there is an extra chromosome then the baby will have Down syndrome, its the 21st chromosone that is responcible and if there are 3 21's instead of the normal 2 the baby will have Down syndrome. I will get the result on the 3rd Jan. After this test you need to rest for 48 hours.
2nd January 1997 The Midwife rang my mum and told her my baby had not got Down syndrome.
3rd January 1997 Went to the General for official resultsthe result read 46 xx N.A.D, well the x's are the sex chromosones so the baby will be a girl, 46 are the correct amount of chromosomes, NAD means no adnormality detected. This was nice to know such a releif but that part of my pregnacy I can never have back the stress the worry when I should have been enjoying my baby being happy when my baby was moving inside kick boxing instead of breaking into tears.
3rd February 1997 Had another feotal scan at Glenfield hostpital for the heart, was explaied that when the baby is 4-6 months old she would have an operation or maybe later depending on the condition, when she is born the Dr will come to the general then and she will have another scan to be sure and if she needs things done she would go to the Glenfield hospital. He explained about the Aorta and pulmonery valve and said he would be able to see things better when she is born.
Had weekly checks with the midwife and a couple more visits to the general.
The 27th March 1997 I woke early felt a little funny went back to sleep, finally got up to collect Gino from work at 6am, I had a couple of slight braxton hicks contractions. When back home had a little to eat and had a lie down with my husband but ended up running a bath which relieved the braxston hicks to almost zilch.
That day I had a appointment for an assessment at the Leicester General Hospital at 14.00, I was 9 days over due (my baby wanted to stay with me) when I was there the contractions were stronger i should have stayed there really rather than being in a uncomfortable car all the way back home but i was told they are braxton hicks, the baby's heart was monitered and mobements and also contractions.
I had another appointment for 1st April to be induced but by 18.00 I was back at the hostpital in the labour ward.
Ayla was born 20.42 weighing 7lb 1oz(3200g) length not recorded. She looked around the room, I looked into her eyes they were a beautiful brown she was beautiful. There were two doctors there right at the end for the baby, they examined Ayla straight away (no going to the breast to feed) they let me hold her for a little bit i wish I put her to the breast but I did not know then that they needed to go to the breat straight away and I was concerned for her health. my mum held her also as she and my husband were with me during the labour.
Ayla was taken to the neonatel unit and I had to go through the 3rd stage of labour, Gino and my mum were able to go and see Ayla, they went home just after I had stiches. I finally had a shower and waited untill i was able to see my daughter, I remember looking at the clock at 23.45 thinking hurry up.
I will write some more soon about my daughter and how she fought, the wording is taken from the dairy I kept at the time.
